One Piece: Regime
by Tallest Magox
Summary: The Strawhat Pirates have re-united and entered the New World. In Response, the World Government has mobilized it's Greatest fighting force to put a stop to their advancement down the Grand Line. Rated M for violence, swearing and more frequent death.
1. Prologue

One Piece: Regime

Prologue: Returning to the old job

**Note:** This story takes place after the events of Fishman Island

A train raced along its dull metal tracks, passing by a herd of grazing sheep as it came ever closer to its destination. Eventually, the locomotive left behind the wide expanses of farmland that covered the majority of Terra Buena Island and made its approach towards the train station sitting just outside of the only major city on the island. Just when it looked like the train might overshoot its stopping point, the enormous machine managed to grind itself to a halt, coming to rest perfectly parallel to the boarding platform. A few moments after a small flood of civilians hauling off their heavy luggage had exited the passenger cars, a few men clad in black suits, hats, and ties began disembarking from the train as well. After about two dozen of the suit-clad men had made their way onto the loading platform, they were joined by a man who looked to be in his late twenties, who had a lanky build, short, black hair and wore a black waistcoat, a white undershirt, and dark brown pants and shoes. He approached the assembled suits while twirling a ballpoint pen idly in his right hand, not even bothering to make eye contact with any of them until he was standing directly in front of them. Following this man was a woman of about the same age who had a deep, blood red colored hair, extremely pale skin, and dark gray eyes. She was clad in a late twentieth century military uniform and had three miniature silver stars pinned above the right breast pocket of her shirt. Unlike the man before her, she gave annoyed look to the entire crowd of suits for the entire duration of her short walk to their location; breaking it only momentarily to take occasional sips from a soda glass filled with orange liquid that she hadn't managed to finish while she had been back on the train. Finally, long after the rest of the train's passengers had departed, a tall, well-built man with dark brown hair wearing a tuxedo with a golden tie and handkerchief tucked into his breast pocket emerged from the last car connected to the train and joined the others assembled on the platform.

"Well, this looks like everyone," The man said as he joined the assembled group and gave individual nods to the other latecomers who were now standing directly to the right and left of him. "Force, you know where we're going, so why don't you take the lead- oh, and the targets might not exactly be happy to see us, so try not to start something."

The woman merely nodded as she began barking orders to the suits, which were soon forming a sort of wall that marched along directly behind the three who were obviously their superiors. Force took a few steps ahead of the group and began to lead them through the city. Almost immediately, an enormous crowd of civilians began to gather around the procession, and rings of gossip began to flare up around the city like wildfire.

"The World Government is here!"

"Really, what do you think they're doing?"

"They must be here to deal with those pirates!"

"Why didn't they send in the Marines?"

"I don't know, but let's watch! It'll probably be really cool!"

And so, the World Government agents were followed by an ever-growing amorphous blob of civilians as they moved further into the city. Just as the sun had reached its highest point in the sky, the procession stopped in front of a dilapidated tavern overlooking the intersection of three roads. The gray-eyed woman extended her arm and grasped ahold of the grime-covered doorknob jutting out of the rotting door, and proceeded to pull the door open.

"Rankyaku!"

A sudden force from within completely shattered the old door into hundreds of tiny splinters and rose up an all-concealing cloud of dust that hung in the air for several seconds before being torn apart by a gust of wind. As the dust vanished, Force lowered her arms to her sides, obviously unharmed from the attack- though more than just a little annoyed judging from the look on her face.

"They're agents of the World Government," a voice echoed slightly from within the old building.

"Spandam must have sent them, I wonder if they realize that they're about to die?" Another voice from within responded, the desire for bloodlust in its owner clearly conveyed in the way the words were said.

The rank and file agents took a nervous step back upon hearing those words, the brown-haired man merely smiled and stepped through the remains of the building's doorway. The interior of the building was as equally as destroyed as its door, with several bodies and random severed parts scattered about a field of broken class and wood. Still left standing were three individuals, the one standing before him was wearing a black baseball cap and a striped shirt who had an elongated and oddly rectangular nose, the one off to the side was a woman wearing net stockings who seemed to be ministering to a wounded man who was laying down on top of the serving counter, and the one who was currently sitting at the only unbroken table in the only unbroken chair was staring at him like he would soon be shoving a knife in his chest.

"He's dead, you know,"

"Who's dead?" The square-nose asked

"Spandam. Apparently you're 'get well soon' call caused a slight heart complication that just recently did him in. I hear that his funeral will be held next Thursday."

"Is that so? Then you must be here to bring us in for murdering such a 'world renowned hero'" The brooding man at the table said as he instantly cleared the distance between him and the World Government agent.

"Shigan!"

"Tekkai!"

The attacker viciously jabbed his right index finger into the chest of the tuxedo-wearing man in front of him, which merely bounced off his chest as if it were nothing.

"Actually, I'm not here for anything like that at all," the brown-haired man said as he dusted the mark that had been made on his suit. "I'm actually here to apologize on behalf of the World Government for how you were wrongly accused by the former Director."

"You're joking," The woman said as she tuned from the wounded man atop the counter to face the newcomer.

"I assure you that I am not," The agent said in the most sincere tone possible to the race of man. "Recent events have driven the World Government to rethink how it was handling the Enies Lobby case, and all charges that Spandam had brought against you and anything you might have brought upon yourself between then and now are hereby dropped."

"That's quite generous. Why have they suddenly decided to acquit us?" Square-nose asked.

"Let me guess, after letting so many pirates escape from Marineford and being unable to handle all of the new bands of criminals that have sprung up like weeds, they realized that they need us, didn't they?" the other member answered as a white pigeon dressed in a tie landed on his right shoulder.

The man smiled again "That's a rather pragmatic way of putting it, but yes. The World Government has extended to you the offer to reinstate all of your previous extralegal rights. However, instead of being directed by someone like Spandam, you would be directed by me."

"You expect us to return to CP9 after what Spandam did to cover his own failure?"

"Well you see, I'm not the Director of CP9, I'm the head of something a little more… direct. Ever heard of the Regime Taskforce?"

There was a moment of stunned silence after that last part had been said. Even Rob Lucci, the man who wasn't fazed by the slaughter of hundreds of people, stood in shock.

"That's the World Government's trump card. The team that has singlehandedly preserved the existence of Justice in this world no less than seven times since the founding of the World Government itself" Kaku said after the effect of the phrase eventually lost weight.

"Indeed, and judging from that attack I felt earlier, you guys haven't lost your edge at all these past two years. You would all make excellent additions to the taskforce- oh, and by the way, I only count thee three of you, where are the others?"

"We got into a slight argument with some pirates here, they were stronger than we initially expected," Kalifa said as she gestured first to the bodies scattered around the floor, and then to three individuals who had been laid down on the floor to the right; two of said individuals being rather large.

The agent merely nodded and approached an individual whose chest had been riddled with finger-sized holes.

"'The Roar of The Sea', Captain Scratchmen Apoo of the On Air Pirates - bounty of 198,000,000 berries. You've done well to have defeated such a powerful pirate captain, I might even go so far as to say you've grown even stronger in the past two years."

The agent closed the pirate captain's eyes and returned his attention to the former government assassins he was trying to win over.

"If you're acquaintances require medical attention, I happen to have a full medical staff present with me waiting back at the station. I know I can't expect a full answer to my request on such a short notice, but I was hoping that you would be so kind as to board a train with me to the coastline. We can discuss the full terms of your return to the World Government's services while in transit."

"So," The agent said as he called several suits to come collect the pirate captain's remains. "Do we have a deal?"

**Author's Note:** I would just like to start off by apologizing to any Supernova fans out there who may be reading this, Apoo is probably the only one who's going to get the ax in this story. (maybe)

Anyways, what is this? The World Government actually doing something smart for once? Madness I say!

Also, feel free to write a critique/comment. Imput is greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 1

One Piece: Regime

Chapter 1. Bastion: The Island of Mercy

The midday sun shown down on the crew of the Thousand Sunny as it plowed through the relatively calm waves. The scene on deck was a relatively normal one for the Straw Hat crew, with Usopp entertaining Chopper with another outrageous tale of his adventures and Brook calmly playing Bink's Sake on his violin. At the helm, Franky was casually looking forward at the current, his built in mini-hands making slight compensations at the wheel whenever it was needed. Standing next to the cyborg was the ship's navigator Nami, who was currently keeping her eyes glued to the sky and sea simultaneously. Beyond the helm, Luffy sat on the edge of the bow, leaning forward towards the horizon.

"You know Luffy, sitting there and just staring forward isn't going to make us find an island any faster," Nami called out to Luffy as she caught sight of her idiot captain moving himself even farther forward along the bow.

"I know, but I just want to see what a New World Island looks like so bad! I've never seen one of them before! I bet it'll be so cool!" Luffy said as he inched along the bow to the point that if he moved any closer, he'd surely fall straight down into the ocean. "I bet we'll run into all sorts of cool things! Like robots, and dinosaurs- or maybe even robot dinosaurs! That'll be cool! And maybe we'll stumble upon an island where it rains meat!"

"Don't be an idiot! It can't rain meat, not even in the New World!" If Nami's arms could stretch like her captain's, she would have surely slugged the fool on the back of his head right now.

"Aw, but why not?" Luffy said as a temporary damper dropped his level of enthusiasm.

"Because… It… It would just be stupid, okay?" Nami crossed her arms and looked away indignantly.

Elsewhere on the ship, Sanji was finishing the preparations for the crew's lunch, turning over a sizeable chunk of meat that was resting on a frying pan and adding a final dash of several different spices. Once the steak had been browned to the chef's satisfaction, he flipped it over on top of a pile of similarly prepared meat chunks, and placed the plate of meat on top of a cart and wheeled it out onto the deck.

"Lunch is served! Today's meal is a sea-king flank soaked in white wine and seasoned with five different spices."

"Wohoo!" Luffy screamed as he reached his over the helm and grabbed ahold of the mast, then pulled himself over to the main deck. "Meat! Meat! Meat!"

"Geez, again with the seaking? This is the third day in a row that you've made seaking for lunch," Usopp said disappointedly.

"That's because you shitheads haven't caught anything new in over a week! We're running low on the supplies we picked up back at Fishmen Island as it is, so you'll eat what I cook, and you'll like it."

"I don't care if you make seaking every day Sanji, this meat is good!" Luffy said as he shoved three of the meat slabs into his mouth at once.

"Well, it would have lasted longer if you didn't eat so much, this is the last of that over-sized fish that I managed to preserve."

Luffy swallowed hard. "You mean this is the last of our food? I better eat my fill now so I'm not starving later."

Luffy extended an arm at to grab another few steaks, when a black shoe suddenly came down and pinned his extendable arm to the finely kept grass growing on top of the deck.

"You've had enough, Nami, Robin, and the rest still haven't had any." Sanji kicked the offending arm away and gave Luffy a glare to scare him off, before taking out a lighter and lighting up a new cigarette.

A white blur suddenly obscured Nami's peripheral vision, causing the navigator to lose focus and turn her head in alarm.

"Hey, Nami, is something the matter?" Franky asked

"Oh. No, it's nothing." Nami said through a perfect mask of reassurance. In actuality however, it was more than nothing. The rest of them didn't seem to fully understand the situation, but they were effectively sailing aimlessly as of now. The Log Pose, which had been the only way of knowing which direction they needed to sail to in order to get to the next island along their path through the grand line, didn't work in the New World; meaning they had no way of knowing if they were actually making progress towards an island or not. Just when she thought they wouldn't get anywhere now, she had started seeing these white shapes appearing occasionally either to the right or left extremes of her vision. Originally, she had just thought she was suffering from dehydration or something, but after a few days of seeing the blurs always appear either to the right or left of her, she got the idea that they might be trying to direct the ship towards a nearby island by either telling her to turn the ship to port or starboard at certain times.

…Okay, she admitted to herself that it probably wasn't the most logical conclusion, but at the very least it gave her some sense of still being in control of where the ship ended up.

"Uh, Franky? I think we need to turn the ship to starboard."

"Hmm, why?" Franky answered offhandedly, his mind focused on measuring how smooth the Thousand Sunny was sailing today.

"I just… have a feeling that we might be getting closer to an island."

"Alright then! Starboard it is!" Franky said with sudden enthusiasm as he abruptly turned the ship. "Oh, SUUUUUUPER! The Thousand Sunny is definitely still riding the waves with maximum efficiency even after two years!"

"Ooooh, Nami!" Sanji called out as he began ascending the stairs towards the helm area, "I've skimped out on the rest of the crew's fruit serving all last week to insure that I could make this special parfait for you today!"

"Oh, thanks Sanji!" Nami said with a slight hint of relief in her voice as she accepted the glass bowl and spoon from the ship's resident cook and self-proclaimed ladies' man. At least this might help take her mind off the fact that they still really don't know where they're going.

* * *

><p>"Ugh, Sanji, I'm so hungry!" Luffy groaned in protest from the spot he had chosen to collapse on the dock.<p>

"It's only been four hours, you won't starve to death for at least a few more days," Sanji said as he snuffed a cigarette out in the ashtray sitting on the table placed off to one side of the ship. "How about instead of lying there and complaining, you and the rest of the shitheads on this crew try and catch us some dinner?"

"We've been trying to catch something!" Usopp called over from the left hand railing that he and Chopper were sitting at. "There hasn't been a nibble all afternoon."

"Well, try harder, Nami and Robin's lives depend on you idiots brining in something soon, so get to it!"

"Geez, we get it already, get off our case!" Usopp muttered to himself as himself as he returned his attention to the idle bobber floating in the sea in front of him. Wow, this was boring.

"Say, Chopper!" Usopp said in his "Brave Captain Usopp" voice. "This reminds me of the time that I singlehandedly took down the Goldfish Emperor."

"Really Usopp? Tell me the story!" Chopper said as his eyes shined like stars.

"Well, you see, after all of the giant island-sized goldfish I'd slain throughout my life, their boss decided that he needed to get rid of me once and for all or there wouldn't be any giant goldfish left in all of the Four Blues. When he and I finally met eye to eye, I couldn't believe how big he was. Instead of being the size of an island, he was easily as long as a good stretch of the Red Line, and equally as wide too."

"Really?" Chopper asked in awe.

"That's right, he was so big, even my special Captain Usopp's Giant Goldfish Fryer couldn't fit all the way around him. Which was a real shame too, because if he had, I could have made so many-"

"Hey, everyone! Everyone!" Nami suddenly called out, genuine relief flooding her voice. "I think I can see something coming off in the distance, I think it's an island!"

"Really! That's awesome!" Luffy said as he made it from the deck to his feet in one single move. "They'll have to have something to eat right? Hey, maybe there will be meat growing from the trees there! That would be great!"

Nami, still too far away to slap her captain upside the head, merely took her frustration at his ridiculous comments out on her forehead. Still, she should be happy too. It seems that her theory about the white blurs had been right- though whether that would turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing has yet to be proven. Either way, they had found an island, and it didn't seem to be made out of fire or lightning, or anything such as that.

"Hey, can anyone see anything on the island yet?" Luffy said. Looking about to jump overboard right now and try and swim the rest of the way- even though he knew he couldn't swim.

"Hang on, it's too far away to make out any details with the naked eye right now," Nami took out a spy glass from a supply box Franky had placed near the helm and adjusted the device to its maximum level of magnification.

"Well, it's certainly pretty big, probably at least 100 miles in diameter. It looks to be lightly wooded, so it's probably an Autumn Island or a Winter Island in its summer season. I can make out quite a few tall buildings along the coast, so it's easily inhabited. I also see…"

Nami paused for a moment, mouth hanging open as her eyes caught sight of an enormous marble statue of a fully armored warrior carrying an enormous shield that concealed about 60% of his body from view.

"T-This is amazing! I can't believe we wound up here as our first destination in the New World. What a lucky break!"

"Hmm? Nami, what are you talking about?" Luffy asked, as clueless as always.

"If that statue I saw is real and not a fake, then this island has to be Bastion- otherwise known as the only safe and normal place in the New World!"

"Really? Aw, that's boring, I wanted to see something cool," Luffy huffed.

"Ha! I see that my reputation precedes me! Not even the New World dares to try and get between us and our ultimate goal of Raftel Island! Tremble before the might of Captain Usopp!" Usopp put one foot up on the ship's guard rail and pointed forward triumphantly.

"It also looks like there is a few Navy ships docked at port, and at least two ships are flying the flag of the World Government." Nami added as the ship drew close enough to the island for her to start seeing things clearer.

Upon hearing those words, Usopp suddenly doubled over and began coughing violently.

"Oh no! I'm having another case of my I-Can't-Go-To-This-Island-Disease!" Usopp slumped to the ground and huddled into a fetal position. "You'll have to go on without me!"

"Well, it's not like we can just dock our ship right outside of town anyways with those ships in port, we'll have to circle around and find a protected bay that's hopefully within easy walking distance of some shops." Nami said decisively as Franky began to circle around the island.

* * *

><p>It took the Straw Hat crew another hour to find a sufficiently sheltered place to moor their ship. By that time, Luffy had gone without eating for nearly five hours. This was simply unacceptable. As such, the rubber man had instantly sprinted off into the surrounding woods in search of food the moment the Mini-Merry he was riding in hit dry land. The crew could only stare in anger and disbelief at how reckless their captain still was, even while he was currently on an island that was currently inhabited by both World Government and Marine forces.<p>

Zoro, who up until now had spent the entire day sleeping, was the first person to step onto Bastion after their captain had made a beeline for the woods.

"Well, we know he can handle himself. I'm going for a walk-"

"What? No! Absolutely not!" Usopp yelled at the swordsman. "Even after we all trained for two years, you still can't avoid getting lost in a straight hallway!"

"Oh calm down," Zoro said, mildly annoyed that people continued to believe that those incidents were his fault. "Look, I'll cut a slash in every tree I pass so I know where I've been. I'll be back before nightfall."

With that, the swordsman strolled off into the woods, the sound of steel hitting wood giving Usopp some reassurance that Zoro might-maybe-possibly be able to find his way back without becoming lost.

"Damn Mosshead," Sanji sneered as he too stepped onto the beach. "Doesn't he know that getting fresh supplies is the top priority when we land anywhere?"

Nami sighed. "Sometimes I don't know how I put up with you people. Anyways, that port town we saw earlier should be southwest from here, so if we just head in that direction and follow along the coast, we should be able to arrive in town before all of the shops close for the night. Franky, you stay here and guard the ship. Oh and to the rest of you, if you see any Marines walking by, try and cover your face, we didn't come this far to slip up now."

* * *

><p>Far away from the Straw Hat crew, sitting in a very cozy looking office chair behind a very nice marble-top desk, a dark brown-haired man in a tuxedo took a sip from the cup of tea that rested in his hands. Judging from his face, he looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, though his hair had yet to lose any of its color.<p>

There was a knock at the ornate wooden door that separated his personal office from the rest of the building. After no response was given, the knocker merely let pushed the door open.

"Ah, Force, welcome back. "The man nodded to the redheaded woman as she entered the room. "I'm going to assume that you're here to give a report and not to accept my invitation to play cards with Media and I?"

"You are correct, sir," Force said as she slammed a stack of papers onto her superior's desk. "Oppression has just reported in: She was able to both locate and guide the Straw Hat pirates to Bastion. Although predictably, they didn't just dock their ship on our front door. I need you to sign all of these and authorize a search of the entire island immediately."

"No need," The man said as he leaned back in his chair. "I'm willing to bet that the Straw Hats have stopped here because they need supplies. Since reports don't suggest them to be the raiding type, they'll probably show up at stores located in the larger towns on the island in hopes that the higher amount of foot traffic would allow them to buy what they need and leave before anyone notices. Send a message to the local marine garrison and have them increase patrol frequencies in the major population centers. Also, be sure that all of our operatives are ready to move at a moment's notice; and keep Oppression out on surveillance duty."

"Yes, Dictator, Sir!" Force gave a salute and walked out of the room, leaving the pile of requisition forms sitting on the desk. The brown-haired man merely smiled, and pulled out a set of wanted posters from the cabinet under his desk.

"Monkey D. Luffy, Roranora Zoro, Nami, Sogeking, Sanji, Chopper, Nico Robin, Franky, and Brook," The man thought to himself as he spread the posters out on his desk. "I would like to cordially invite all of you to come to my base of operations. I wish to have a long talk with all of you about the meaning of the word Justice."

Page break here

**Author's Note:** And Chapter one is here! The Straw Hat Pirates have arrived on the Island known as Bastion, renowned throughout all four Blues as the safest island in the New World. What will fate have in store for the Straw Hats while they're here? Guess you'll have to wait and find out!

Also, reviews: please send more of them.


	3. Chapter 2

One Piece: Regime

Chapter 2: Encounter in the Woods

The sun had long since set by the time that the bulk of the Straw Hat pirates caught sight of the port town that they had seen earlier. Fortunately for them, the town seemed to have an active nightlife, with almost every shop remaining open long after stars had begun to dot the night sky. As a matter of fact, there seemed to be a festival of sorts going on, judging by the number of street vendors selling all matter of snack foods and knickknacks that the crew passed by and how crowded the main streets of the town were.

"Hey Nami, don't you think it's a little odd that we happened to arrive in town on the same day that they're having a party?" Usopp whispered into Nami's ear.

"Hmm. You have a point. Well, at least we'll be able to blend in with the crowd easily enough. Just be on the lookout for anything suspicious." Nami responded in an equally low whisper, before turning to address the whole group. "Alright, everyone knows our budget, so go pick up what you need and be at that light house we passed by in no later than two hours."

The group members all gave their acknowledgements and began to head off in different directions.

"Oh, Robin! Do you want to want to come look for a bookstore with me?" Chopper asked the ship's resident archeologist.

"Sure, Chopper." Robin replied with a kind smile and started to follow the reindeer down the crowded street.

As the rest of the crew was absorbed into the shapeless blob of the surrounding crowd, Nami kept her eyes peeled for any shops that had anything at all related to navigation. After all, she didn't want everyone to know that she had been dependent on hallucinations in order to get them to their first stop on their journey into the New World; and to be quite honest, she wasn't so comfortable with how they wound up here herself. The sooner she could figure out how to navigate in the New World properly, the better.

After several minutes of weaving past various civilians, vendors, and a fire juggling clown, the orange-haired navigator spotted a building with a sign hanging over the doorway that helpfully had the word "Maps" Written on it in big black letters. Unfortunately for her, a man looking to be in his mid-twenties had just exited the building and looked to be digging out a set of keys to lock the place up for the night.

"Oh no!" Nami thought to herself as she sprinted over to the man, knocking over a few nearby people and uttering quick apologies.

"H-hey, Mister! Could you stay open just a minute longer, I really need some maps."

"Sorry, miss, but the store's closed for tonight," The man said sternly, before he turned from the door to face a young orange-haired girl who looked teary-eyed.

"Oh, pleeease. Mr. Mapmaker. I can pay! I just need a map to another island in the New World!"

The young man sighed, but dropped the stern tone from his voice. "I wish I could help you miss, you seem like a really nice girl, but the fact of the matter is that I'm only the apprentice map maker. And we don't actually sell any maps that lead to other New World islands, just local ones to help people get around Bastion and ones that lead to the Holy Land Mariejois that merchants occasionally ask for."

Nami's spirits sunk faster than her idiot captain in a body of water. If there weren't any maps in Bastion, the only "normal" island in the New World, how was anyone expected to get to the other islands?

"Uh, however," The apprentice said as tried to quickly think up of something to cheer up the orange haired girl in front of him. "If you really need to get to another island in the New World other than Bastion, I'm sure that the Marines might be able to help you out."

"Oh yeah. Like they'd just give someone with a 16,000,000 beri bounty a Map of the New World." Nami thought to herself as she thanked the man and walked off. "Guess there's no helping it; I'll have to go steal one."

As Nami passed by a dark alley way, a World Government agent who was wearing rectangular sunglasses ducked behind a box and pulled out a baby transponder snail that was white and had a little hat of it's own from his jacket pocket.

"This is Smith to Headquarters. I've got a confirmed ID on one of the Straw Hat crew. She's currently on the main street in the port town of Sanctuary. I repeat: Positive ID on one of the pirates. I'll keep my eyes open for any of the others who might be in the area. Smith out."

* * *

><p>"Hmm. This Tree looks familiar," Zoro said to himself as he inspected a nearby oak tree. "No wait, hang on. This tree has six different cuts along its trunk. I only cut each tree once when I passed by it."<p>

Zoro took a moment to scratch his head using his free hand. He couldn't understand it. If he slashed a tree each time he walked by one, then it should be easy to tell where he had been. Instead he kept finding trees that would often have two, three, or in this case, six slashes cut deep into the dark bark.

"This forest must be cursed." Zoro muttered as he resumed inspecting each tree he walked by, being sure to cut a slash into it before moving on. "It's the only possible way I could get lost like this when I had such a fool proof way of finding my way back to the ship."

Zoro continued to wander aimlessly around the forest for another ten minutes or so, when all of a sudden a sudden, something fell out of the sky and landed right in front of him.

"What the-" Zoro drew his second sword, and for a moment looked to be about to blindly cut down what had landed in front of him. Before he could complete the arm motion, however he managed to realize what was now in front of him.

"A sign?" Zoro asked out loud. Sure enough, a small wooden sign had fallen from the sky and landed cleanly in the ground in front of him. Nailed to the sign was a piece of paper that someone had quickly scribbled on with a blue crayon. The paper depicted a rather simple drawing of a map. At the center of the map were the words "you are here" written in a sort of flowery handwriting. Spiraling out from the "you are here" were three lines that each led off in different directions, one line that went directly eastward led to the word "ship", one line that went to the southwest led to the word "town", and one line went to the north and west slightly led to the word "base". Next to "base" was a small note that stated "you should go here!" that had a star tagged onto the end of the phrase.

"What is this?" Zoro stared blankly at the sign for a few moments, before a grin suddenly crept up on his face.

"I see how it is," Zoro said as he walked around the sign and continued on his aimless path. "This forest really is haunted, and some ghost thinks he can just play a joke on me by dropping signs that lead to nowhere. Well it isn't going to-"

Zoro felt something tap him on the back of the head. The swordsman quickly turned around with two of his swords poised to strike, only to find nothing other than the trees he had been mercilessly cutting. The swordsman then reached behind his head, and noticed that something had been taped right on top of his hair. With an annoyed yank, the swordsman removed the offending article from his head, only to find that it was the same map that had dropped down in front of him earlier.

Zoro just gave the paper a glare before crumpling it up and tossing it behind him. As soon as the wad of paper hit the ground, Zoro felt a depressing sensation overwhelm him, causing him to fall onto his hands and knees and begin sulking.

"YOU IDIOT! Can't you tell when someone is trying to help you?" A harsh voice cut through the silence of the forest, causing several flocks of birds to fly out of the treetops.

"I deserve to be lost in these woods forever. That way the rest of the world wouldn't have to put up with my worthless existence." Zoro muttered to himself.

The newcomer hit herself in the face with the palm of her hand. "Bearsy Bros, smack him out of it. I need to talk to him."

Two creatures that looked like stuffed toys covered in patchwork stitching and stood about one foot tall jumped down from a nearby tree and proceeded to smack Zoro with a tiny hammer and a board of wood repeatedly. After a few seconds, it proved to be an effective wakeup call; as the swordsman jumped back up to his feet in one movement, knocking the animated toys over in the process.

"How the hell did you manage-" Zoro began as he turned to face the new comer, only to have the sentence die in his mouth as he realized who was floating in the air a few feet away from him.

"Did you miss me? You must have, since you still can't find your way out of anything! Horohorohorohoro!"

His eyes hadn't been deceiving him, it really was the self-proclaimed Ghost Princess Perona. The same one that they had met on Thriller Bark and the one that he had to put up with for two years while he trained with Hawk-Eye Mihawk in his home on Kuraigana Island and later helped them avoid the marines back on the Sabondy Archipelago. She was wearing the exact same outfit as he had last seen her in, only now the cross on her dress had been replaced with a similar symbol that had four round balls at the end of four lines that extended out from a central ball in the dead center of the design.

Why did that symbol look familiar?

"…Perona," Zoro managed to say after the initial shock and lingering sentiments of depression and worn off. "What are you doing here?"

The ghost girl frowned and furrowed her eyebrows. "As soon as I got back from dropping you off, that- TOTAL JERK!- Mihawk said 'I was no longer needed' and kicked me out of his house! So I just floated around in the boat for a while until I spotted this ship and took the initiative to climb onboard in the middle of the night. I was originally planning to throw the crew overboard and keep a few under my Hollow powers to serve me," Perona's frown was quickly replaced with a smile at this point. "But it turned out that the captain was a really cool guy! We talked it over for a little bit and he decided to have me join his crew. Of course, I only accepted his offer once he showed me how absolutely loaded he was!"

Perona's eyes were replaced with twinkling stars. "Ever since that night, I've been sleeping on a whole mountain of the cutest dolls. And every day, I have servants at my beck and call to bring me all of the sweets and adorable outfits that I could ever want! He even brought two smaller replicas of Bearsy to life! They're much cuter than the original one, and they don't ruin their cuteness by speaking in such an icky voice."

An enormous drop of sweat began to trickle down the swordsman's neck.

"That… doesn't answer my question at all,"

"I was getting to it! Learn some patience!" Perona snapped back to reality and threatened to shoot another negative hollow at the interrupting swordsman. As soon as she saw that he was flinching when she moved her hand out, she merely laughed and returned to her explanation.

"Anyways, after getting the clearance to travel through Marijoe-something and head to the New World, he asked me if I knew you guys. I told him I did, and we came up with a plan to lure you guys to this island using my hallows. It turns out he really wants to meet you guys! As for why I'm here in the forest, I was just flying around on recon duty when I heard someone smacking the trees and talking to themselves. I went over to investigate, and it turns out that you had gotten lost again and were making a big deal over it. So I made a map and attached it to the sign the Bearsy Bros had made, but I should have realized by now that you can't follow directions; so I'll just have to walk you to the base myself!"

The Bearsy Bros began pushing against Zoro's feet, leaving a trail of dust behind them as the swordsman was unwillingly propelled forward.

"Stop, I'll walk." Zoro glared at the Bros, who ran to hide behind Perona. The swordsman sighed and turned to face the ghost girl. "Lead the way, it's not like I'll be able to get back to the ship at this hour after my system got messed with somehow."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Warning: This chapter contains excessive amounts of Perona. Those who are Perona-sensitive should speak with their doctor before reading this chapter.

Oh… you already read it…

Also, don't worry everyone: the action scenes start next chapter!

As always, please rate and review, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!


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